Ropes and Razors
by Schrolover812
Summary: Just read it. The main things involved will be Phantom of the Opera and Sweeney Todd, but many others will appear!
1. Who are you?

**A/N: We hope you enjoy our crazy escapade!  
**

**Warning: This is a product of the imaginations of two crazy teenage girls. **

**It was written purely for the fun of it. **

**If you have a fear of any of the following do not continue:**

**~ Random situations (including violent ones)**

**~ OOC-ness**

**~ Anything that doesn't make total and complete sense**

**Disclaimer: Neither of us own any of the characters. Not even ourselves, because really owning any real person is wrong. And we certainly do not, no matter how much we wish we did, own Sweeney or Erik.**

~ London ~

Sweeney was sitting in the parlor room, reading a letter form his Parisian friend, Erik. The letter had been written quickly, in an unusually desperate manner. Erik wanted him to come to Paris. Apparently he had gotten himself into somewhat of a mess.

The bell on the shop door rang. Putting down the letter, he stood up. He went into the shop. Sitting in the barber chair was a young woman. She was looking at the ceiling, so she didn't see him come into the room. He walked up to her and tapped her on the shoulder. She jumped in shock and sat straight.

"Who are you, and what are you doing here?" he asked softly. He had a hand resting on one of his razors.

"I thought you were supposed to be dead," she replied. She slowly stood up and headed to the door.

"Well, obviously I'm not. Now leave, or else." He took a step toward her. She was fumbling with the door knob, but it wouldn't open. Turning back to face him, she said, "I swear, I won't tell anyone. Just don't…" She saw the look on his face and stopped speaking.

Sweeney sighed resignedly. He lowered his razor and took a step back. "I won't. As long as you answer my questions," he told her.

"Sure, what is your question?"

"Who are you and what are you doing here?"

"My name is Stephanie. I… um… was looking… for… a…crap," she said trailing off. Steph fainted into Sweeney and knocked him over onto the floor. All the breath in his lungs was knocked out of him.

Ow," he said, pushing her off. Still talking to himself, he muttered, "Better get her off the floor." He slid his hands under her and picked her up. He then carried her into his room. After laying her on his bed, he sighed and sat down beside her.

Steph started to stir. She opened her eyes and looked right at Sweeney. She sat up and grabbed her neck.

Sweeney grinned. "I haven't killed you… yet"

She turned away blushing.

"What were you looking for?" he asked.

"My friend, Kim. She's in Paris and I was supposed to meet her there, but am now in a different time and I don't know if she is in another time period too," she answered.

"Hmmm…" He thought for a few moments, then grabbed Steph's face and turned it so she faced him. "So, you're from a different time, and you're going to Paris to find a friend, whom you're not sure 'when' she is. Is that about right?" He looked at her quizzically.

She nodded. "Yep, that's about it."

Sweeney thought a bit more about this odd occurrence. "Well, that would explain your clothing, And, I guess you could come with me. I was reading a letter asking me to come to Paris, when you walked in."

"That's fine, but do you have any spare clothes of Mrs. Lovett's. I don't want to walk out of here looking like this. I already got enough stare walking here," she said.

"No, I burned all of her clothes because of what she did to me," he answered.

"Then can I have a set of your clothes please?" she asked as she laughed.

"Yes. I will go get them. Stay here and don't touch anything," he said in a stern tone of voice. He walked out of the room.

Steph stood there and looked around. She saw one of his razors sitting out in the open. She walked over to it and picked it up, opened it and was immediately entranced by it.

She was standing there gazing at the sharp shiny metal when she heard a thump. Quickly, she closed the razor and put it back. She turned around to see Sweeney standing in the doorway with a small pile of clothes at his feet.

"What happened to not touching anything?" he growled angrily. He walked over to her, leaving the clothes on the floor, and picked up the razor. He shook the closed razor at her and said, "Don't ever do that again." She ducked under his arm and went to pick up the clothes.

"Okay, you won't see me do that again. And thanks!" She went into the other room to get changed. She closed the door and while she was changing, started to laugh uncontrollably. She thought to herself, _I really love it when he gets like that._ As she was finishing, she then said to herself, "Kim might not even recognize me now, dressed like this."

She walked back into Sweeney's room and sat back on the bed. "So, why have you been called to Paris?" she asked. Sweeney sighed and sat on the bed next to her.

"I'm not really sure. My friend Erik wrote a letter saying he had gotten into some kind of trouble. Since I'm really his only friend, he wanted me to go over there and help him out." He leaned back on the bed and closed his eyes. "I was planning on leaving tomorrow morning, if that's okay with you."

"That's perfectly fine," she said. Then the thought hit her. "Erik," she said to herself over and over again. Then she started laughing. Then she spoke. "I think my friend might be with Erik; if he is who I think he is."

"Really, who do you think he is?" Sweeney asked, as he sat up and looked her right in the face. She had a scared look on her face, not knowing whether to answer him or not. She thought to herself, _why did you open your mouth_ _you stupid idiot_.

"Well?" he said with annoyance in his voice.

"The Opera Ghost," she said very quickly.


	2. Poison Granola?

**Disclaimer: Once again, we do not own anyone is here. Except a few minor things...**

Sweeney gave her a look that caused her to start sweating bullets.

"Really now, and how would you know such a thing? No one's supposed to know who Erik is, "he said a bit too calmly. Steph quickly glanced down at Sweeney's hands. His left hand was still rested on the bed, but his right hand was gripping a razor. She gulped and her eyes flew up.

"Tell me, how do you know?" he asked again slowly, drawing closer to her.

She started to stutter. "Um, uh…"

He got closer to her opened the razor, placed it on her neck and said very calmly, "Tell me."

"In my time we have a book called _The Phantom of the Opera_ and it was eventually made into a play and the Phantom's name was Erik and I figured it was the same one," she said pleadingly.

Keeping the razor to her neck, Sweeney asked, "What do you mean in your time? How would they know his name, even in the future?"

"I don't know. All I know is that there is. Could you please just believe me?" She looked at him with pleading eyes. He sighed and lowered the razor slowly.

"Okay. I believe you for now, but don't except to be believed when we get to Paris."

"That's fine. Kim will be able to back up what I told you," she said very confidently still looking at the razor. _I wonder how Kim is doing, if she already has two death threats in one day. _"I'm exhausted, this is too much excitement in one day for me to handle," she said as she lay back on the bed.

"I think I'm going to turn in. Where will I be sleeping?" she asked as she rose from the bed, looking at Sweeney.

He mumbled something incoherent under his breath.

"Huh?" Steph asked, putting her hand behind her ear.

"I said, I only have one bed, and I'm not about to have either of us sleep on the floor." As he was saying this, he tugged her back down by the arm.

"What?!" she yelled in his ear. The thing he was suggesting came as a shock.

"Don't worry, we'll sleep with our clothes on and I promise not to lay a hand on you."

"Okay, I'll take your word for it," she said as a slight grin appeared on her face. "But be warned, I sometimes can be a violent sleeper."

He merely shrugged at this and lay down on top of the covers. "I don't mind. Now, you said you were tired so get some rest. Tomorrow's going to be quite busy."

"Yeah," she said as she lay down next to him. She grinned again and closed her eyes and dozed asleep.

Sweeney fell asleep and was awoken a few moments later by a foot jabbing him. He moved over a bit and went back to sleep. On the bed's edge he managed to sleep for quite a while. A thumping sound woke him up though. Blinking in the darkness, he fumbled for a candle and felt the bed next to him. _That thump must have been me,_ he thought as he stood up.

Stephanie rolled to the other edge of the bed and let out a loud snore. Sweeney lay back down again and fell back asleep. Stephanie rolled over again and fell off the bed with a loud THUMP. She didn't wake up.

_(Sleeping is boring, so I'll skip the rest.)_

The two were awakened by yet another thump, a crash, and the sunlight peeking through the broken window. The pigeon cooed and strutted over to the bed. It then proceeded to peck at the hand which hung over the edge. Sweeney smacked the bird away with his hand. The pigeon hit the wall with a thud.

Meanwhile Stephanie laughed uncontrollably on the floor. The pigeon regained its bearing and then flew out the broken window.

After getting up from the bed, Sweeney walked around and looked down at Steph, who was trying to get over her laughing fit.

"It's about time that we headed out. And why are you on the floor?"

She stood up and brushed the dust from her borrowed clothes. "No reason." She yawned then went rooting through her bag. Throwing something at him she said, "here's some breakfast."

He caught the little bar and stared at it. "What's this supposed to be?" he asked.

"It's a poisoned granola bar," she answered through a mouthful.

"What?!" he said quizzically.

"It's not really poisoned. Kim and I just call it that. Try it, I think you'll like it," as she took another bite.

Sweeney opened the silvery package and took a bite. "This is good,: he said as he had a mouthful of granola yumminess.

As they finished their breakfast Sweeney started to speak. "Are you ready to head out?"

"Yep, let me grab my bag," she said as she grabbed her book bag.

The door slammed shut and they headed for the shipyard.

**Claimer:**** Yes, the pigeon DOES belong to us! No Stealing!**


	3. Noah is a Weirdo

**Disclaimer: Once again we sadly do not own these people...**

Captain Noah breathed the bitter air in deeply. In the distance, he spotted a couple of people coming toward him. As they approached, he waited, twiddling his thumbs. "You lookin' ta go somewhere?" he asked them.

"Yes, we need a ship to get us to Paris," Sweeney said.

"You just in luck. I have a ship leavin' in 'bout ten minutes," said Noah. "Don' mind the animals below deck though."

"That's fine. Where's the ship?" Sweeney said.

"Right over there," Noah pointed to a very large wooden ship.

_That's weird, _though Steph. _It looks like an ark. _

"Well, what're ya waitin' fer? Let's get goin'!" Noah waved his arm toward the ship. He started walking, then looked back. "Hurry up you two. Time's a wastin'!?

Steph and Sweeney rolled their eyes in unison and followed after the weirdo. Steph walked to the front of the ship and looked up to the sky. She turned to Sweeney and said, "We're going to get a bad thunderstorm. I can smell it."

"What do you mean you can smell it? Rain has no smell, "Sweeney said.

"Yes, it does. My dad told me about it. Just wait and you'll see," she said as she grinned. The ark set off and when they got out of port, a bolt of lightening streaked across the sky. It then started to rain. Steph turned to Sweeney. "I told you," she said as she grinned confidently.

The wind kicked up, beginning to rock the ship in all dorections. A young boy peeked out of the door.

"Captain Noah says you two should get below deck!" he shouted over the howling wind and crashing waves.

"We'll be fine!" came the reply from the both of them. The boy shrugged and ducked back inside. Another flash of lightening followed by a booming clap of thunder. The angry sea invaded the ship's deck, plunging tons of water over the edge.

Stephanie tried to walk to the other side of the ship, but slipped just as the ship rocked to the side again due to a wave hitting the hull of the ship. She slid 'till she hit the railing. She went to stand and the boat rocked the other way. She slipped again and slid to the other side. She screamed. Part of the railing was gone. She tried to stop as she clawed the deck of the ship, but it was no use. She caught the only part of the railing that was there. She tried to pull herself up, but she had no strength left.

She screamed to Sweney, "Don't just stand there! Help me!"

Sweeney, who had just been standing there not noticing the storm at all, looked up from his newspaper. Dropping the periodical, he ran to her. He grabbed ahold of her wrists and pulled her back aboard.

"Maybe we're not so fine stayin up here. We should get inside," he said. He then put his arm around her shoulders and walked her through the doorway.

The boy was in there sitting cross-legged on a bale of hay. He grinned when he saw them enter.

"Finally decided it was too much for you, huh?" he said sarcastically as he jumped down.

"Follow me." He walked off expecting them to come after him.

The two followed the strange boyaround the corner. The boy led than to a corner where there were fresh bales of hay. :Here you go," the boy said as he walked off.

Steph sat down on a bale of hay. "I'm freezing Steph said, shaking feverishly. Sweeney sat down next to her, taking off his jacket and putting it around her shoulders.

"Thanks," she said as she closed her eyes and leaned her head on Sweeney's shoulder. She was so exhausted from nearly being thrown into the ocean that she fell asleep immediately. She didn't even have the energy to be violent. Sweeney was about to doza off himself when Captain Noah burst in.

"What're you sleepin' fer?! We're nearly there an' there's lots to be done!" He rushed over to then and grabbed them by their shirt collars.

Steph jumped and with all her energy, smacked him right in the face. Captain Noah fell to the ground.

"What was that for?" he asked angrily.

"Never do that again," Steph said as she rubbed her eyes to get the sleepiness out of them.

Sweeney grinned as he helped Captain Noah get up off the floor.

"Has the rain stopped?" Sweeney asked.

"Yeah, it stopped after you guys came in."

"What do we need to help you with?" Stephanie asked.

Noah furrowed his brow, deep in thought, drumming his fingers on his leg. He slowly shook his head and finally spoke, a big grin plastered on his face. "You know, I'm not really sure. I just kinda felt like sayin' that." Steph glared at him. He scrunched his head down and gave her a sheepish look. "Please don't hit me," he squeaked quietly.

Steph raised her hand as if to strike him. NoaH cringed as he waited for the strike.

Steph then laughed. "I won't. Not this time." She lowered her hand.

She turned and looked at Sweeney. "Let's go up on deck," she said.

"Yeah, let's go," he said as they walked away.

When they got far enough away from Captain Noah, Steph said, "I hate the Captain, he's so weird."

"Yeah, we should be docking in Paris soon."

They went up on deck and looked out and saw the Eiffel Tower. Steph said, "Finally, we made it."

The ark docked in the Paris Port Ennui.

**Claimer: But of course this version of Noah and the nameless boy DO belong to us! -hugs them!-**


	4. Pancake, yes

**Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own anyone.**

Steph and Sweeney were the first to get off. They headed onto the Paris streets. Sweeney pulled out a map. "We have to find the abandoned Opera House."

"Judging by the map it is up two blocks this way," Steph said as she pointed to the map. They walked up two blocks.

"Uh, I think the map is wrong," Sweeney said looking up at the building in front of them. "Yeah, this is definitely not the right place." The building was a small shop with bright pink walls and a white scalloped trim. The words in the window read 'Mrs. Butterworth's Pancake Shoppe'. A little grey-haired old lady in a frilly lavender dress bustled about inside. She poked her bunned head out the door when she noticed the two outside.

"Oh! Hello, dearies! Would you like some warm pancakes? They're the best in all of Paris. Please, come in, come in!" she said sweetly. She swept them through the door before they could say anything.

"Sit," Mrs. Butterworth pushed them both down in chairs. "I'll be back in a few minutes with your pancakes." She hurried out.

_That women reminds me of Mrs. Lovett_, Steph though to herself. Steph looked around. Everything in the shop was pink or a shade of pink and white.

Mrs. Butterworth came back out and with her were two hot trays of pancakes with butter and syrup. "Here you go dearies," she said warmly. May I ask where you two are from, and where you might be going?"

"We're here from London," Steph said.

"We're looking for the Opera House," Sweeney added.

"When you're done, I can tell you how to get there." When she said this, her happiness immediately died. The two finished eating and Mrs. Butterworth told them how to get to the Opera House.

As they left, Mrs. Butterworth waved to them. "You best be careful dearies! Wouldn't want anything to happen to you, would we now?" She turned and went back inside to continue dusting her shelves with a pink feather duster.

Looking at Steph, Sweeney said, "Well, that was…odd. I guess we should get going."

They started walking, Sweeney leading this time. He was about to make a turn when Steph shouted at him. "Stop! She told us to go right here!"

"No, I'm sure she said to make a left."

"I'm telling you, it's a right. See the houses get shabbier and more run down to the left." Steph pointed in the direction Sweeney had been going.

"Well, it is abandoned."

"But not for that long, right? So it would be to the right." After Steph made her final argument, she tugged Sweeney's sleeve pulling him with her to the right. They walked a little ways until they came upon an ornate opera house that was boarded up.

"Told you it was right. How do we get in?"

"Erik told me to go around to the side; there is a gated entrance." Sweeney walked around to the left of the building. There was a large crawlspace that was covered with a grating of bars. Sweeney tugged it open and crawled through. Steph followed over though she had her doubts and was a little freaked out. They emerged in a dimly lit corridor.

"Now which way do we go?" Steph asked as she looked around.

"Down this way, but stay close. I wouldn't want anything unfortunate happening to you since Erik doesn't know you," Sweeney said as he started to walk.

"Okay," Steph said as she grabbed his arm.


End file.
